


Beautiful and Foolish

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, F/M, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-13
Updated: 2010-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-11 07:17:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/475984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is turned into a girl and no one knows why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful and Foolish

Sam was sitting at his laptop when he heard the now-familiar rushing sound. He looked up to greet Castiel.

“Hey...what the...?!”

Sam stared. Cas was standing a few feet away from him. At least, he assumed it was Cas. After all, he didn’t know anyone else who wore a trenchcoat and suit. The trenchcoat didn’t fit anymore, though, falling down past Cas’ wrists, the hair was longer, the face more delicate, and Cas had what looked like _breasts._

“Hello, Sam.”

The voice was different too, higher.

“Cas, what…what _happened?!_ ” He’d heard of stuff like this, spells that fucked with the sex chromosomes, but there was no reason they should work on angels. On the other hand Cas was in a human body, and he didn’t have as much power as he used to…

“I don’t know,” Cas confessed.

Sam stared some more. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I can think of no reason why this should have happened.”

OK, listening to Cas’ usual pedantic monotone in a female voice was fucking with his head. “When did it happen? Where were you?”

“Not long ago. I was searching for my Father.”

“Where exactly?”

“A meadow in Austria.”

“Were there any people around?”

Cas shook his (her?) head.

Sam thought furiously. “Did you touch anything? Artifacts, stones? Were there any ruins or circles or anything?”

Cas shook his head again. “I made a thorough search of the area. There was nothing to account for this.”

Sam collapsed on the bed. “Can you fix it? Mojo yourself back?”

“I’ve tried. It has no effect.”

Sam groaned. “We could try to find a way to fix it…” he hazarded.

Cas shrugged. “It is not important.”

Sam gaped at him. “But you’re a girl!”

“Angels have no biological sex, Sam. I could just as easily have taken a female vessel to begin with.”

“OK, fine, fair enough, but what about gender? I mean, there’s people with gender dysphoria walking around in the wrong sex bodies…”

Cas shook his head. “Gender is a human concept. Angels are neuter. There are more important things to worry about right now.”

“Says you. I can just imagine what Dean will think…”

The door opened at that moment. “What I’ll think about what?” his brother demanded, dropping a bag of food on the table.

Sam waved a hand at Cas, too tired suddenly to explain.

“Holy shit!”

***

“So let me get this straight,” Dean summarized, rubbing the bridge of his nose where he felt a headache coalescing. “Cas got turned into a girl, you don’t know how it happened, and he doesn’t care?”

Sam shrugged, looking as confused about the whole thing as he was.

“It is immaterial.”

“Immaterial? Dude, you’ve got _boobs!_ ”

“Dean!”

“What? He does,” Dean muttered. And he’s so _not_ thinking about that right now. Or ever. “You tried to fix it?” he demanded.

“Yes,” Cas replied.

“We could try to figure it out, get you changed back...”

Cas shrugged, and Dean wasn’t thinking about that either, especially since his shirt was pulled tight across his chest. “As I told Sam, this form causes me no discomfort. We should concentrate on the Apocalypse.”

Dean stared at Cas, suddenly realizing something. “You can’t go out dressed like that.”

Cas looked down at himself. “Why not?”

Sam sighed, an epic bitchface forming. “He’s right, dude. We’ll have to go shopping.”

***

Shirts, jeans and socks were no problem, and they could get Cas new shoes later if they had to. Even the under–never mind–weren’t too bad, since they came in those packs, but Cas didn’t know anything about human clothing. Dean doubted he ever undressed, since he’d never seen him without even the trenchcoat, and damn it why wouldn’t his brain behave?

The problem was bras.

Cas had no clue what size he wore, of course. Dean could guesstimate (he’d seen a fair number of boobs in his time), but that would actually involve _looking_ at Cas’ boobs, something he was trying his hardest not to do.

Picking out under...things was bad enough. He refused to look through bras too, and made Sam do it.

“Dude!”

“You had a girlfriend, you know about this stuff!” Dean’s experience with bras consisted solely of taking them off.

Sam made another bitchface, and bypassed the regular bras entirely, picking up a handful of sports bras and handing them to Cas. “Here. There’s no clasps on these, and you don’t have to worry about fit so much.”

 _And you’d know that how?_ Dean wondered, but kept his mouth shut.

“What do I do with these?” Cas asked.

“You put them on.” At Cas’ continued puzzled look Sam looked wretched. “On your…chest. Pull them on over your head and adjust them so they’re comfortable.”

Cas nodded.

He spent so long in the fitting room Dean wondered if he’d gotten his head stuck, but finally he came out again.

He was wearing jeans and a scoop neck tee shirt, and it was harder now not to look at him. The shirt was tight enough that there was no way Dean couldn’t notice the transformation, and the jeans were snug around his hips and his… He wrenched his eyes away.

“Is this acceptable?”

Dean swallowed. He tried to tell himself this was someone else: didn’t sound like Cas, didn’t really even look like Cas. Just some random girl. But that almost made it worse.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Sam said, giving Dean an odd look.

After that they bought the clothes and left, but it wasn’t soon enough for Dean.

***

Cas was still looking for God, which was good, since it meant Dean didn’t have to look at him, or even think about him a lot of the time. But he came back occasionally, and Dean’s nerves were frazzled expecting it.

He’d gotten used to Cas popping in and out over the past year, but now he felt guilty, like he was doing something wrong and Cas was gonna catch him at it, which was ridiculous, since he _hadn’t_ done anything.

He’d been thinking, though. He’d managed to push speculation of what Cas’ new body would look like, feel like, out of his mind. Until he started dreaming.

Dreaming about running his hands over Cas’ breasts, licking the nipples as Cas arched under him. Dreaming of dipping his fingers between Cas’ legs, thrusting into him, feeling how wet he was…

He’d always had an overactive libido, so it made sense that he was reacting to the presence of a woman, even if that woman was Cas. Especially since he hadn’t had time to get laid lately between Horsemen and demons and Lucifer.

But it was _Cas._ He was a _guy,_ no matter the current circumstances. Sure he liked Cas, trusted him more than anyone except Sam, would have his back in a fight, but _this?_ Especially after Cas already downgraded himself for his sake? No _way._

At that moment Cas showed up again. Six inches from him.

“Dude!” Dean yelped, jumping back. “Personal space!” And maybe he hadn’t had a problem with Cas invading his space for the past couple months, but it was different now.

Cas backed off another six inches or so, and Dean tried not to sigh in relief.

“You seriously don’t care that you’re a girl?” Dean blurted out.

Cas frowned, the same expression he usually wore when something Dean said confused him, but it looked different on his new face. “But I’m not a girl, Dean. I’m merely inhabiting a female body.”

“Doesn’t _that_ bother you?”

Cas shook his head. “Angels can inhabit anyone with the proper bloodline, provided they give consent. If you remember I occupied Claire briefly.”

And that was another thing Dean didn’t want to think about. “But you’re more comfortable in one than another, right? I mean, you have a preference?”

But Cas shook his head again. “Angels are sexless, Dean, neither male nor female. Even when we take a vessel there are other considerations before gender.”

“So if you were…” Dean swallowed. “If you were stuck that way…you wouldn’t mind?”

“I would not, except that it seems to make you and Sam uncomfortable.”

“This kinda stuff always makes humans uncomfortable, even if they’re open-minded. At least until they get used to it.” But he didn’t want to get used to it. Didn’t want to have to deal with the complications it opened up.

“I’m sorry I make you uneasy.”

Oh, Cas was _so_ not beating himself up for this! “It’s not your fault!”

Cas nodded, but he didn’t look convinced.

Dean moved forward, grabbed his forearms and stared at him. Cas blinked, actually startled.

“You didn’t plan on this happening. You didn’t decide to turn yourself into a girl to freak us out. It’s _not your fault,_ you got me?”

Cas stared at Dean’s hands on his arms, then looked up slowly. “Yes.”

***

A few days after that, Dean had another dream. It was about Cas again, but in his normal body. When Dean kissed him he felt the stubble rasping against his cheeks, and there was a definitely male pressure pushed up against him.

He pushed Cas’ shirt off his shoulders, and yeah, no breasts. But the part of his mind thinking this was being rapidly overwhelmed by the feel of Cas against him…

Dean woke up suddenly. “Sonuva _bitch!_ ”

What the _hell_ had that been? The other dreams were bad enough, but this? This was all kinds of fucked up. Even if Cas wasn’t an angel, even if he wasn’t possessing some dude who Dean had met and actually kinda liked, he’d never thought about him that way before.

Hadn’t thought about him that way when he stood off an archangel so Dean could go after Sam.

Hadn’t thought about him that way when he went up against Zachariah for him.

Hadn’t thought about him that way when he’d backed him against the counter in Bobby’s kitchen and threatened to throw him back into Hell.

Hadn’t thought about him that way when Cas had put his hand on his shoulder after he couldn’t change the past.

Hadn’t thought about him that way when he’d seen him broken in the future, or later by the side of the road.

Realizing exactly how many times there were when he hadn’t thought about Cas that way, Dean put the pillow over his head and groaned.

***

Dean was a lot of things, most of them bad, but one thing he’d never been was a coward. Once he’d come to terms with the fact that he was attracted to Cas (and might be kinda in love with him, but he wasn’t ready to think about that yet) he decided to do something about it.

So he waited for Cas to show up so he could talk to him.

And waited.

Three days later, he was starting to reconsider, thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Cas might not feel the same way. And, hell, Cas was an angel–he might smite him for even thinking about it.

When Cas finally did show up, Dean jumped and squawked, “ _Jesus!_ ”

Sam and Cas both frowned at him, Sam because he’d been unusually jumpy lately, and Cas because he’d blasphemed. Again.

“I swear, one of these days I’m gonna put a bell around your neck!”

Cas cocked his head at him. “Why would you do that?”

“Never mind,” Dean muttered, staring at the waterstained ceiling in a plea for patience as Sam snickered.

Dean turned away, unable to look at Cas now that he’d been reminded what he looked like now. He missed the old Cas. For that matter, he’d rather have sex with Cas in his old body, however fucked up that made him.

“I’m gonna go get food,” Sam said suddenly.

Dean shot him a look. “What? I thought we were goinna go to that diner at the edge of town.”

Sam shrugged. “We can go tomorrow. Besides, I need to look something up. You guys have fun.”

Dean blinked, stared, then glared, but Sam only winked at him as he shut the door, the bastard.

Now that he was alone with Cas, Dean was even more nervous, but he’d told himself he was gonna do this, so he went over to him, took his chin in his hand and pressed their lips together.

Cas stepped back. “What are you doing?” He didn’t sound upset, just confused.

Dean coughed. “Kissing you.”

Cas’ brow furrowed. “Why?”

It was a good question. Dean still wasn’t sure himself. “I don’t deserve you. I mean I don’t deserve you picking me over Heaven.”

Cas opened his mouth, but Dean overrode him. “I mean it’s _Heaven!_ It’s your _home,_ your _family!_ First you fucking _die_ for me and then you decide that I’m right and you’re gonna fight everybody, Heaven, Hell, when there’s no chance of winning.”

“You _are_ right. And there is a chance…”

“But that–Jesus, Cas, I don’t deserve that kind of faith, after how many times I fucked up! I broke the first Seal!”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

Dean snorted. “No? No one else did it.”

“You held out for thirty years.”

“And Dad held out for a hundred. I don’t deserve your loyalty.” He paused. “But I’m glad I’ve got it.”

“You do deserve it. You’re the one who convinced me to stand up for what’s right, no matter the consequences. You’re the one who showed me that there are things in this world that are worth fighting for.”

“What things?” Dean demanded.

“Family. Love,” Cas’ lips quirked. “Pie.”

Dean laughed at that. “You’ve never even tried pie.”

“But I know you like it.”

Dean wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything.

“Dean,” Cas prompted him. “Why did you kiss me?”

Dean let out a shaky sigh. “I…I dunno. I guess, with you in that body I just realized…”

Dean couldn’t read the look Cas gave him then, as though he’d made a decision. He came forward again and pressed his lips to Dean’s.

It was a soft kiss, uncertain, and Dean let it be what it was, rather than trying to deepen it. Cas pulled back after a moment and looked at him. Dean smiled.

Cas still looked uncertain when Dean kissed him again, and Dean wasn’t feeling too sure of himself either. It was _weird._ Not that he didn’t know what to do with a woman, since he obviously did, but Cas in a woman’s body was surreal even for him.

Cas gasped against him, and Dean took the opportunity to invade his mouth. His hands were up under Cas’ T-shirt and Cas’ hands were bunching the fabric at his shoulders.

He drew away long enough to pull Cas’ T-shirt off, and, yeah, surreal. He didn’t know what was weirder: Cas with his mouth open and skin flushed, or the fact that now that his shirt was off the transformation was even more obvious.

He shrugged off his misgivings and pulled up the sports bra, running his thumbs over Cas’ nipples, cupping his breasts. Cas whimpered and arched into him.

Without thinking about what he was doing, Dean leaned down and started sucking on Cas’ nipple.

At that Cas let out a full-on moan, and his fingers clutched at Dean’s hair.

Dean pushed him back towards the bed, and Cas went willingly. He pulled Dean’s own shirt off and ran his hands down his back.

Dean sucked on Cas’ neck as he opened his jeans and pulled them off, then pulled off his panties. Man, Cas was _wet,_ and when Dean slipped a finger inside him he gasped, “ _Dean!_ ”

Dean pulled away from him, and at Cas’ whimper he smiled. “Just a sec.”

He went to his wallet and pulled out a condom, because no _way_ was he getting Cas pregnant on top of everything else. He shucked off his jeans and boxers and rolled the condom on, then went back to the bed.

He thought of something. “This might hurt.” He knew Cas was a virgin, but he didn’t know about that body.

“I don’t care,” Cas gasped.

Dean pushed in, and, yeah, there was resistance. He forced his way past it and Cas made a small broken noise and his hands clawed at Dean’s back.

Dean held still for a minute, waiting for the worst of the pain to pass. It was awhile since he’d been with a virgin, but he did know what he was doing.

He started thrusting, cautiously, and Cas met his thrusts. He leaned up to kiss him, desperately and Dean let him.

Dean’s thrusts speeded up. Cas’ breathing was ragged, but he hadn’t come yet. Dean wanted to do something about that, but he was too far gone. He came, thrusting deeply into Cas once, twice.

He sank down, half-supporting himself on his elbows and took a moment to just breathe, then pulled out and got up. Cas clutched at him, but Dean squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”

He went into the bathroom, tied off the condom and tossed it, then got a wet towel to clean up the blood.

After he cleaned Cas up he leaned down and ran his tongue over him. Cas gasped and his hips shot up. “Dean…?”

“Hey, I may be a lot of things, but I make sure my partners always enjoy themselves.” And he leaned back down, nibbling on Cas’ clit, thrusting his tongue inside.

Cas moaned, and his hands came down to land in Dean’s hair. He didn’t push, but Dean had the feeling he wanted to. He was getting wet again, and Dean concentrated on making sure he came.

When he did it was with a stunned noise, and Dean worked him through it. When he was done Dean pulled off and kissed him again. Cas was shaking.

“So, good?”

Cas stared at him as if he’d asked the stupidest question ever strung together and Dean laughed and lay down next to him.

***

In the morning Dean woke up with Cas wrapped around him. Something was different, though. There was pressure against his hip, not his chest.

He pulled back.

Cas was back in his old body, stubble bluing his face, flat chest and stomach tapering down to his waist, where he was having a very human reaction to it being morning.

Cas stirred as he pulled away. “Dean?” He stopped at the sound of his own voice, looking down at himself, then shrinking away.

“Hey, where you going?” Dean demanded.

Cas sat up, looking for his clothes, but all he had was what he’d been wearing last night. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–”

Dean caught his wrist. “Cas. Don’t worry about it.”

Cas pulled his hand away. “Now that I’m back in my old body–”

Dean smiled at him. “Now that you’re back in your old body, I’ll have to get to know this one too,” and he pulled him down again.

***

Sam had checked out of the room he’d gotten last night and was waiting by the Impala for Dean to show up, since there was _no way_ he was knocking on the door, when Gabriel was suddenly lounging against the side of the car.

Sam jumped back as if he’d been stung. “You!”

Gabriel nodded. “Me.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on my handiwork.”

Sam blinked. “Your hand– _you_ did this?”

Gabriel nodded. “Eyup.”

“ _Why?!_ ”

Gabriel snorted. “Dean was making Cas miserable. He needed to be taught a lesson, and I’m good at that.”

Sam considered. That was Gabriel’s MO, if a bit more altruistic and harmless than usual. “Why do you care?”

Gabriel looked briefly offended. “He’s my brother! Anyway,” he continued, “looks like it worked, so…”

“Are you gonna change Cas back?” Sam demanded.

“Already done. Incidentally, they might be awhile.” And with a _snap_ Gabriel was gone, leaving Sam staring.


End file.
